Welcome to the 3rd world

Welcome to the uncomfortable, plastic bucket seats they have in airports, the coke stained lino floor which you shoes stick too, welcome to being a non resident parent. Congratulations you have just become a complete non entity in the lives of your children.

Now to prepare you for your stay in the 3rd world of parenting a few pointers -

1. Your opinion is no longer required, oh you may think that having PR (parental responsibility) will give you grounds to have an input into the way your children are cared for, but i have bad news it does not.

2. Accept that all parties including former family members, schools, social services & doctors will treat you with a level a contempt normally held back for the likes of Hitler & Stalin. Any cares you have will quickly be ignored, after all what would you know about how to raise children?

3. Prepare yourself for a campaign of misinformation that would earn people a job with Tony Blairs spin doctors. You are now the devil incarnate, everything will be your fault & make no mistake that your children will be encouraged to blame you completely.

4. Do not, under any circumstances think for even a millisecond that there will be one set of rules, agreed upon by you and your former partner. There will be two sets by where the resident parent does what they like & you do only that which is permitted. Trust me these will not be the same.

5. Your position as a parent has now ended, you are no longer required and in due course will be replaced with someone whom your former partner considers to be more suitable. This will also include a transferal of all your former rights to them.

6. By all means fight for fairness, fight for the continuity you feel is missing, but accept that its like trying to shovel shit in a field full of cows with dysentery. You honestly are going to be disappointed if you believe that you can make a difference.. you cant.

7. Under no circumstances expect the law to help you, it will not. Although the law encourages both parents to have an input it does not enforce this. It will sit idly by while you have the horns and the forked tongue put in place by your former partner.

8. Accept that everything you consider to be normal no longer applies. You will not get what you give, you will get what your former partner wants you to get, which on the whole is a lot of pain. Do not expect Christmas cards, birthday cards, mother/father cards, you are only going to be disappointed.

In short accept that you no longer exist except as a form of payment. By following these simple rules you may find the transitional period between being a parent and no longer being one easier.

P.s I know not all resident parents are like this, there are many good ones.... Just don't bank on yours being one of them.