All Grown Up & Still A Child

As you may have read in the past I have a huge problem with censorship, if there is one thing almost sure to get my back up it's being told what i can say, watch, read or listen too. So it was with some excitement that i found out my opinion is being asked for, yes mine, yours every ones. For those not of my adopted home land let me explain, for a number of years now Australia has been subjected to censorship of games. This is because the body which rates games has no R18+ rating, so if a game is considered to violent or graphic for a 15 rating it simply gets refused. Recent victims of this have included Fallout3, Left 4 Dead 2 and the soon to not be released Alien Vs Predator, now to the crux of the matter, this censorship has been by one man! Yes that's right one man has controlled the viewing of a nation, and this is a man who wasn't even elected by the people to the position he holds, a position that without he wouldn't be able to stop an R rating anymore than i could stop a bullet with a marshmallow.

So i logged into the government web site, i read the report and now i want to respond to the points raised by one Mr. Michael Atkinson -

Computer games should be treated differently from films given the specific, negative
effects of interactivity on players, particularly their participation in violent and aggressive
content. - What a complete load of unsubstantiated rubbish, there is NO evidence to link computer games to acts of violence. I would argue that alcohol has a specific and negative effect on consumers particularly their participation in violent acts. This is pure inflammatory nonsense, Mr Atkinson will argue the case in America where an act of violence was found to be a reenactment of a computer game, but i would point out that children have been playing cowboys and Indians, cops and robbers, power rangers and mutant turtles in the playground for years, they have the costumes to immerse themselves, they buy the replica toy guns to act out the scenes they see, so why not ban children's television in case one child fails to discern between reality and make believe? Why not, because to punish the many for the POSSIBLE acts of the few would be considered unreasonable. We do not ban alcohol because a few people get drunk and start a fight.


It would be difficult for parents to enforce age restrictions for computer games. - What? Parents have no problem at the moment enforcing the restrictions on alcohol, tobacco or films. If parents are going to have a problem enforcing age restrictions on games then it follows they must already be having those problems, but they don't. They use the time honored idea that as parents they will make a correct and appropriate decision for their children. This comment presumes that parents are unable to raise their children so Mr Atkinson will be only to happy to lend a hand. We, as parents are capable of making our own choices, after all we made the choice to become parents and we managed it all without Mr Atkinson's help... Well unless your Mrs Atkinson in which case... My Sympathy too you.


Minors would be more likely to be exposed to computer games that are unsuitable for
them. - So an R rating on films doesn't increase the risk of minors being exposed to them? Wouldn't it be better too ban any films that exceeds a 15? and ban alcohol and tobacco? and the Internet? and the pokie machines? The fact is minors are currently more at risk due to the lack of an r rating. Parents do not, even tho they should, differentiate between M (15) and MA (+15). they also assume that a game which had to be modified to get a release in Australia will be fine. The R rating of films is very easy to understand for parents, if your not 18 your not watching it, the same would apply to games, which i feel would reduce the risk of children being exposed to unsuitable material.


An R 18+ for computer games would exacerbate problems associated with access to
high level material in Indigenous communities and by other non-English speaking
people - doubt full as the Indigenous communities sold the xbox to buy Alcohol, which they drunk and then abused the kids. This again is a stupid point, the many suffer for the few who cant act responsibly? Oh and Mr Atkinson would do well to assume that if a person in Australia does not speak English then two points, 1. The chances are they come from a country with an R rating system anyway and subsequently have already played the games your banning & 2. If the R rating of games would confuse them then so would the R rating of films, but you seem to be fine with hardcore pornography.


There is no demonstrated need to change existing restrictions. - Of course their is, democracy is being undermined, the basic right of choice is being negated by the opinions of one man on a moral crusade. Further the lose revenue in taxation is growing everyday, Mr Atkinson actually wanted to ban Modern Warfare 2, the biggest selling game of the year, does he honestly believe that banning a game makes everyone just not get it? Don't be a fool Michael, we just buy it from an overseas web site, giving them our money instead of Australian companies and high street shops, and its not just the banned games. Once we have got our 1st order we go back and order more, we order things we could buy here in Australia. Just remember your moral crusade when your explaining to redundant shop staff why the downturn in games sales has cost them their job, oh and while your explaining to them you might want to be phoning the treasury explaining the massive loss in income tax, import duty and GST.

The fact is we as adults have a right of choice, we choose if we want to smoke, we choose if we want to drink, we choose who we vote for, what job we do, where we live, where our children go to school, what we watch, what we read, what we listen too. We are all grown up Nanny Atkinson so stop treating us like children.

What ever happened to just buying a sports car?

Following my recent outing regarding my sexuality I am informed by my teenage stepson that i have it all wrong, that gay does not imply I'm attracted to other members of my own gender, but in fact just means I'm stupid. Now i understand that every generation has a language all it's own, in the most part so parents have no idea what their children are talking about. It gives younger people a sense of identity over the generation that came before them. Just like music, clothes and television shows language helps a generation feel united against 'the good old days'.

This i have a small problem with, but as mentioned i understand it so am prepared to let teenagers redefine words like gay, lame and sweet. I confess that i do not understand how something with no legs can be lame or how something like a film can be sweet given it has no artificial sweeteners, but as i say the young will do as the young always have done.

Where i do have a problem with it is when it's used thus by grown men in the middle of their lives. when thirty somethings use pawned, noob, owned and gay do they realise that rather than sounding cool or youth full they sound bloody stupid. Think about it when you were growing up you didn't want your dad liking your music, you would in fact buy things that offended them just to yell about how there so old and they don't understand your generation. If your mum got herself some fashionable clothes you would just tell her that she should act her age and stop trying to be young. So why do middle age men having a crisis because of the hair loss now feel then need to spew off at the mouth like 12 year old Americans in the playground?

I preferred the days when a mid life crisis allowed you to sell the family station wagon and buy an MGB, to think you looked good in a sports jacket and that your 21 year old secretary was banging you over the desk because she liked mature men. Now your mid life crisis has to involve talking like a wanna be gangster, dressing like a sheep shearer, drinking like a down and out while assuming anyone who reads must be homosexual. What makes this worse is mid life man of today actually thinks he's mixing it up, he honestly believes he sounds hip and in touch with youth. News flash you don't! You sound like someones dad desperately trying to recapture a youth that has past you by. You don't need to insult people in the same way 5 year olds do in the playground, has life offered you so little that the most creative thing you have is "that films so gay?"

I watched a film a while ago called 'idiocracy', its a comedy, or at least i thought it was, now I'm starting to think its a visionary masterpiece showing the world a hundred years from now. In it a man frozen in a capsule wakes up to a world where only the stupid have survived, a world where being able to read and write is considered 'gay', where people spray crops with energy drinks because humans have taken to believing marketing hype in everything they do. This is the world i see before us now, middle aged men trying to be 12 year old Americans. So if your having that midlife crisis, or indeed if your age starts with a number higher than 1 and is in double figures, buy a sports car, find a secretary & have your breakdown with a degree of style. At least people will respect you even if they condone you in public, the way today's 'mature' people behave, the manner in which they have reverted to the primary school playground earns no respect from either their peers or their children.

When men were men which made them idiots

Recently i have come out the closet, that's right i have lay ed myself bare for the world to judge or at least so i am told, i am apparently gay. This was at first more of a shock for me than it will be for my parents when they find out, or my son, or my wife, or even for that matter my ex wife who would have the world believe I am akin to Casanova...

This sudden shift in sexuality i take as a compliment, it's nice to be considered as a man who is in touch with female interests, its flattering to know that i am thought of as gay, yet it was used as an insult. Now i get a little confused here and i wish to explain what has dragged me out of my secret straight life, but before i do let me ask why middle age men now think gay is an insult?

To outline where this sudden rush of estrogen has come from it's all to do with Stephanie Myers. I have read and really enjoyed all of the Twilight books and apparently this makes me gay and emo. Oh if my redneck judges only knew that i have also read The Time Travelers Wife and think it to be one of the best books of all time. Apparently in today's progressive society if you read books which don't feature James Bond, are not made up comic stories involving mutants or are not written by Frank Miller you must be, by definition gay.

Now lets clarify some things about myself, i don't like musicals, but i can appreciate that moulin rouge is an entertaining little film, i have never owned a scissor sisters album, but can appreciate that they do production pop music well and appreciate the performance they offer. I don't mind talking about HRT, I can be constructively critical of clothing and offer alternatives to colour matching. If this makes me gay them indeed i must be, for it makes me happy and as being gay is defined as being happy then i must be the love child of Elton John & Boy George.

Today's middle age man has de-evolved, now i didn't like the whole in touch with my feminine side of the 90's, men who were not only afraid to cry, but openly proud of it just didn't sit right with me, but what we see today where middle age men try so hard to be singlet wearing, beer swilling idiots who consider any game that doesn't have guns, any film that doesn't have Bruce Willis blowing shit up and just about any book that doesn't have pictures as gay, is a very distressing state of affairs. I feel for woman today the men they may seek as potential mates do not understand them, nor do they want too. I may be gay, but I'm pretty sure that most women who have a gay friend wish he wasn't because well he just 'gets' them in a way their husbands don't, maybe this new found sexuality will offer me the chance to fulfill my ex's suspicions about me being related to the worlds greatest womaniser.

To conclude, my fear is that women will soon be faced with a return to the 'Man' of the 50's who, to quote the football song "go down pub, drink ten pints and now I'm really plastered, go back home, beat up wife Dirty Northern Bastard". I'm off to do my eyeliner, slip into a sexy little black number and drool over Edward Cullen.

A Return To Yesterday

Recently I joined a web site, its a little known web site called Facebook. I joined to look up some old rugby friends in the UK & soon enough found a few with whom i have exchanged messages. All good fun and no harm done. Now don't get me wrong i understand the new generations obsession with facebook and myspace, but for me it was just a way to catch up with people who i was once close friends with and see where life took them.

So my limited friends list was more than enough to satisfy my curiosity, but then something strange happened, a charming young woman who i knew briefly a long time ago contacted me, now to clarify this was a lovely surprise and was good to see her life was obviously treating her well. However, her contact alarmed me, this is a lady who i knew when she was a girl, for over 19 years i have not heard from her, nor if I'm honest have i thought about her, yet here in my inbox a message from an old flame. What made her even remember me, although our brief period together was good fun it was brief and many years ago. This got me to thinking about the impact we have on peoples lives, the scars we leave behind without even realising we have done it, this in turn got me to thinking about people from a very long time ago and seeing how much I remembered.

A while ago i wrote about the things you will never remember, but I'm going to take some (not all) of that back. This ripple of memories from my past inclined me to think about my own waves or rather the ones i may have created, I soon realised that i remember a lot more about my younger days than i wish too. Names and dates are vague at best, but i remember faces, places and actions, often with some regret. It seems to me that facebook is a rather dangerous thing, forcing you to once again be faced with the demons of your past, or become the demons of someone Else's. I have thus far resisted the urge to look people up, to contact either those that wronged me and make them feel guilty or those i may have wronged to apologise, probably for fear they wont remember me.

Now in there lays the crux, what makes someone so memorable that after almost 20 years you remember a brief fling? Now don't get me wrong it's very flattering, probably because i never thought of myself as memorable, but 20 years?? I remember certain people and not others, which is strange to me because I'm sure i should remember some of the ones i don't. There were girls at party's that i can't recall & i hope they don't remember me because I'm sure i never called which i probably promised i would, there was a charming young Irish woman in a London pub who i remember drinks tequila and dances like J Lo in a seductive mood, but i can't remember the colour of her hair, yet I remember the girl who sat next to me in English Lit even though we hardly spoke.

My point is be careful out there, treat people well, because you may find you or at least your actions are more memorable than you realise, you may leave a mark on someone that never fades which is a weight to carry on your mind... Oh and although i had not thought about this young lady in 20 years, i did remember who she was and even that she was the first girl to write me letters sprayed with perfume, which i think smelt of vanilla, but that's just a vague guess.