A Return To Yesterday

Recently I joined a web site, its a little known web site called Facebook. I joined to look up some old rugby friends in the UK & soon enough found a few with whom i have exchanged messages. All good fun and no harm done. Now don't get me wrong i understand the new generations obsession with facebook and myspace, but for me it was just a way to catch up with people who i was once close friends with and see where life took them.

So my limited friends list was more than enough to satisfy my curiosity, but then something strange happened, a charming young woman who i knew briefly a long time ago contacted me, now to clarify this was a lovely surprise and was good to see her life was obviously treating her well. However, her contact alarmed me, this is a lady who i knew when she was a girl, for over 19 years i have not heard from her, nor if I'm honest have i thought about her, yet here in my inbox a message from an old flame. What made her even remember me, although our brief period together was good fun it was brief and many years ago. This got me to thinking about the impact we have on peoples lives, the scars we leave behind without even realising we have done it, this in turn got me to thinking about people from a very long time ago and seeing how much I remembered.

A while ago i wrote about the things you will never remember, but I'm going to take some (not all) of that back. This ripple of memories from my past inclined me to think about my own waves or rather the ones i may have created, I soon realised that i remember a lot more about my younger days than i wish too. Names and dates are vague at best, but i remember faces, places and actions, often with some regret. It seems to me that facebook is a rather dangerous thing, forcing you to once again be faced with the demons of your past, or become the demons of someone Else's. I have thus far resisted the urge to look people up, to contact either those that wronged me and make them feel guilty or those i may have wronged to apologise, probably for fear they wont remember me.

Now in there lays the crux, what makes someone so memorable that after almost 20 years you remember a brief fling? Now don't get me wrong it's very flattering, probably because i never thought of myself as memorable, but 20 years?? I remember certain people and not others, which is strange to me because I'm sure i should remember some of the ones i don't. There were girls at party's that i can't recall & i hope they don't remember me because I'm sure i never called which i probably promised i would, there was a charming young Irish woman in a London pub who i remember drinks tequila and dances like J Lo in a seductive mood, but i can't remember the colour of her hair, yet I remember the girl who sat next to me in English Lit even though we hardly spoke.

My point is be careful out there, treat people well, because you may find you or at least your actions are more memorable than you realise, you may leave a mark on someone that never fades which is a weight to carry on your mind... Oh and although i had not thought about this young lady in 20 years, i did remember who she was and even that she was the first girl to write me letters sprayed with perfume, which i think smelt of vanilla, but that's just a vague guess.